Chapter 12 – Road Trip with the Boys

Hello dearest reader I see that you have once again stumbled upon another chapter. Lets take a brief moment to thank the universe for this momentous occasion *pause for thanks* with that done lets talk about the boys big trip in the beast of a vehicle known only as the SUB (said in  a low gruff voice). The trip started like any other adventure over a few brewskis at the hostel. With all the boys pumped and ready to go I had just completed a morning shift and a solid morning shovelling snow. We were pumped and ready to go!

Day 1 – Squamish to Victoria 

As with any good road trip it must start with something to perk you up. This trip was no different, but instead of the ol’ coffee,  it was something a little more special. Kids, ask your parents when you’re older! After that special trip we headed to the ferry at Horseshoe Bay and after enjoying a free special pick me up, the boys were flying to Victoria! Now this trip wasn’t any trip. Why you ask? Because we were high as kites! all 4 of us had Never in our lives have we been this high before… We had the funniest trip in a long time! trying to keep composure in a confined shipping vessel takes vast amounts of effort… Nevertheless, after a quick stop at the onboard shop we were fed and watered after a comment from Dennis “My mouth is like the desert” Looking back it was funny but nowhere near as funny as it was at the moment! In hindsight, it was hilarious at the time… It’s one of those “you had to be there moments.”

Now after the ferry trip the SUB pulled one on us all the check engine light was illuminated! not a good move SUB we all exclaimed but the SUB had enough and turned that pesky light off without us noticing! *SIDE NOTE* maybe the light was never on, maybe we where never in Tofino MAYBE we are still on the ferry… now back to our scheduled program. After that exciting endeavour the SUB took us to Victoria along the way we saw some of the most beautiful Christmas lights you have ever seen *well you didn’t cause your just a  reader in this situation* so we parked the SUB and strolled down the illuminated high street, lights were hung everywhere in this town along with every shopfront being Christmas themed! after this quick break we had some dinner in a local diner was delightful we had burgers and beer of course. With bellies full and thirst quenched next stop in our books was Victoria. Now this city is like every other city on this planet and by that I mean it was full to the brim with oneway streets now that isn’t fun anytime of day but at night in the rain and a bit sleepy mistakes did happen a few  quotes from this drive was “Jim wrong side of the road” and “Jim thats a one way street” as you may of gathered the SUB has a owner named Jim more to come later, Maybe? and for me after arriving at the hostel I was done so I tuckered up in bed whilst the boys went and pounded a few pints of liquid gold and Mexican spirits.

Day 2 – Victoria 

With our bodies fully refreshed and rearing to go we headed down to get out FREE breakfast and by free I mean included in the cost of the room… at the breakfast table we decided where to head to on our first day of adventuring first stop was the floating houses and restaurants downtown, and in typical BC weather is was raining and raining quite a bit at that. now after exploring the floating houses we headed to the lighthouse a mere 30 minutes drive away and we got in for FREE because Canada is only 150 years old it’s a wee baby my house in the UK is nearly the same age. anyway we arrived at the lighthouse and there was a metric fuck tonne of geese or as luke would call them assholes. so we toured around this lighthouse however it was also an old military/navel base the history was pretty interesting but I’ll not give any spoilers of whats there. What’s that your saying I said that because I can’t remember anything about the base. well dear reader you are correct thanks for calling me out here take one of my dignity cards *you now have 0 dignity cards left* fuck…

so after a few hours of walking around we headed back to Victoria but not before visiting the Vancouver Island brewing company for a tour, and like any good brewery tour this one ended like it should absolutely plastered because you started drinking at 2pm the beer that started this whole adventure was the Herminator a 9%alc strength beer and a fine beer at that. To top this tour off I got a free 6 pack of Herminator beer because the universe was on our side on this trip. After the tour we headed back to the hostel to begin a long night of beverage drinking and beverage drinking occurred it stared at with a few pints whilst playing a few games of pool we then headed towards the hostel once more this time to get our FREE dinner and FREE drink dinner was so so but our free drink was a vodka ice tea and we all came to the agreement that we wanted vodka ice tea minus the ice tea to which the barman responded “so a vodka shot” with a swift nod and a shot later the boys were ready to hit the town! But first me and Dennis decided that we needed to spice this evening up and to do that we recruited the oh so delightful dong-bong and smoked a bowl and we were flying into the evening. next stop was a bar of which the name has slipped my memory however on the way I saw the most amazing lights I have ever seen in my life I have been informed that I said the following “there are so many lights” “oh my god they are different colours” “even the boats have lights” as you may of guessed I was far too excited for these lights and I must of looked like quite the tool shouting at a building with lights anyway at the bar we had a solid 3 possibly 4 beers there and I was sufficiently drunk and high not a good combination in which I found out later in the evening.

Later on in this adventure we stopped by the place we played pool mere hours ago and I was done I couldn’t walk anymore I couldn’t remember shit, I have no idea how I got back to the hostel sheer luck I suppose but that’s where my luck ended for the evening. I was rudely awoken by the boys at an ungodly hour to which I find I have thrown-up over my rain jacket which I had placed in the bin *great job drunk me* and yes there is photo evidence of this terrible incident. find out If I ever woke up in Day 3.

Day 3 – Victoria to Tofino 

Day 3 it’s checkout day so I go and get changed and I cannot find my boot for my life so I’m there claiming “who looses one boot” and “how the fuck do you loose a boot” to which Jim responds look under your spew jacket and low and behold there she is the spew covered boot so I go and rinse that bad boy off in the shower and let’s start day 3 of the boys on tour. So we head towards the SUB and some fellow comes up to us and asks if we can take him to Port Alberni well we have to drive past there to get to Tofino so he throws his bag in the SUB and we all introduce ourselves and his name was Flo and Flo was going to have the hitchhike of his life as today was the SUBS birthday it’s 220,000km birthday and to celebrate we said we are going to smoke the dong-bong little to Flo’s knowledge so there we are on the highway towards Port Alberni and the clock ticks over to the magical 220,000km and the suspense was so thick you could of cut it with a knife but Jim’s slams the anchor and stops dead in the middle of the highway. Dennis is in the process of prepping the dong-bong and we play the birthday tune of September by Earth Wind and Fire and once more on this trip smoke a bowl alas Flo didn’t take part maybe due to shock of what the fuck was happening or maybe he was just in heaven thinking this is the greatest yet strangest experience he had been in! after that ordeal back to the road and next stop 800 year Douglas-fir tree! now I know what your thinking that doesn’t sound interesting but holy fuck these trees are massive it takes 8 people to hug this tree and it’s taller than the leaning tower of pisa in Italy! now let’s rewind before we saw this tree we decided to take a detour to the beach and whilst walking along the coast we see this piece of art made of old driftwood and huge logs and we all come up with the genius idea adding to this piece of art and so we set off to find the perfect piece of wood and my goodness we found it and it was magnificent. however this piece of wood was heavy and by heaving I mean it was a 3-4 man lift and maybe around 20ft tall and we had to get this upright and lodged into this art piece but after sheer determination and teamwork we completed this task and left a little bit of history to an already beautiful beach.

Now for the sad part of the day saying farewell to Flo we dropped him off in Port Alberni and exchanged contact details and as we leave we all knew that we would meet Flo once more on this road trip. So we finally start the final leg of our trip to Tofino but first a brief history of things I wanted to do in Canada No.1 was to see the ocean on both the East coast and West coast and after a year of traveling I was finally going to see the ocean on the West side! I was super pumped way to excited for something as simple as the ocean but it was totally worth it being with the boys watching the sunset on what had been an amazing day meeting new friends and seeing a whole new part of Canada! after watching a magical sunset we headed towards the Whalers in Hostel in Tofino and it was a beautiful and welcoming place, a really homie atmosphere and the boys felt at home.

Day 4 – Tofino 

New Years eve in Tofino what a time to be alive and what a great place to be to celebrate my first year in a whole new country and away from home for the first time! but the boys had a hike planned for the day, quite an interesting hike as it wasn’t a summit it was a hike through the bog fields of tofino to a WW2 bomber that crash landed into the side of the hill after an engine failure (you can read more by googling it) the plane was fully stripped of its electrical systems and was just a  barebones wreck the only thing that covered the plane was overgrowth and graffiti tags *this irks me more than it should, why do you feel you have to put your name on a piece of history* but the boys didn’t tag this plane the boys sat on the wings and we enjoyed the one the only Herminator! guest staring the dong-bong we reminisced on our trip and the year along with quite a few interesting stories, stories that shall be kept between the boys and will live in our memories allowing us to recreate that moment in time. After our spiritual journey (by our I mean mine) we carefully made our way back through the bog making sure not to make a wrong step or the earth would quite literally swallow you whole. On the way back to the hostel we stopped at a surfing hotspot to check the place out and in the process enjoyed the final sunset of 2017 it was beautiful the universe really put on a show that day and the universe kept on giving all the way to the new year. Heading back to the hostel for real this time we saw a hitchhiker on the road we drove past to which I said “this is the universe testing us” so Jim slams the anchor and does a u-turn and goes to pick up this fellow and after a brief chat we dropped him off in the town centre and thats when we knew the universe was balanced once more and the universe had something amazing planned for the boys.

As the night rolled in the boys rolled out of the hostel Catherine (a worker at the hostel) was the DD for the evening and she informed us of a campfire down at the beach so off we head to reel in the New Year on a beach *the dream* but before all of this happened I went to throw some cardboard away and low and behold I meet our roommate Nick he’s smoking a J and asks If I would like to join, being a gentleman I kindly accept and I was now flying into the evening. We arrived at the campfire at around 10:00pm and low and behold we meet the hitchhiker from earlier that day! and we start chatting and his friend from Yorkshire was a gem he told us his traveling stories and I’m not going to share those stories as they are his to tell and not mine to share as I wouldn’t express the passion he had alas he left shortly after leaving the boys at the campfire with a bunch of strangers but for that one night we are all one family bringing in the New Year together but for me New Year isn’t a big deal so I wasn’t drinking as I have been smoking for the past few hours and as we all know beer and weed aren’t the best of friends. as we started the countdown to the new year everybody stared to dance around the campfire I watched from a distance and enjoyed the atmosphere and then it struck 2018 was here and the boys have now been on the road for 2 years! shortly after this Dennis wanted us to share our highlights and low points of the year we all enjoyed this and I feel that we became closer friends that night but for me the night was over I was tired and ready for bed. But I know the boys had one crazy night but once more that is not my story to share.

Day 5 – Tofino to Nanaimo 

Well for me the morning was very chill and I was ready to start the day as no hangover can touch this man no sir! I headed off into town with my camera in tow and went and took some photographs of the town, in the process I took some photos of a murder of crows and some fellows car infant of them as the guy drove off he handed me his business card and asked if I could sent the photos to him. I gladly accepted and later that evening I sent him the photos and wished him a very happy new year and that’s the highlight of my morning other than some delightful shots of a peaceful harbour town. I headed back to the hostel to meet Dennis for some breakfast as the other boys still haven’t turned up yet, over breakfast we discuss the events of the evening and to me it sounded like something from one of those crazy American house parties that went waaaay out of control but I’m a pretty open person and came to accept that the evenings events did indeed occur. So there we are at the door ready to go down to the beach for a quick walk and who walks through the door its the boys! and they look rough like they had been out partying for 12 hours, Oh wait that’s exactly what happened! so we once again sit back down and get to hear the details of the night and I can tell you one thing I heard this story too many times and yes it did start to get a little bit old. Maybe its because I was sad I wasn’t there but that was my decision and deep inside I love the story and the fact that I have no idea if it’s real or not. Story time over it was time to head down to the beach me and Dennis discussed the events of the past few days and talked about whats next for us and the year ahead we enjoyed another wonderful sunset the first one of the year and an eagle flies above our heads and we both look at each other and I say “that was the most magical thing that’s happened all year” to which Dennis gives me a look of disappointment we both laugh and continue to watch the sunset and play a game of frisbee on the beach, what an excellent start to the year.

Day 6 – Tofino to Nanaimo

Our final day in Tofino had arrived and it was a sober day (well kind of sober) as we had to make our way to Nanaimo for the night so we can head back to sunny squamish but before we say farewell to the west coast of Canada we headed for Uclulet to check out the  West Coast Trail with the intention to see the Orcas and as we start the hike there is a viewpoint a mere meters from the parking lot we look out across the ocean and in disbelief we see a calf and it’s mother breaching the waves it was the most magnificent thing I have ever seen as I’m a big advocator for the freedom of killer whales and to see them in their natural habitat was an emotional time seeing the dorsal fin at full mast was just majestic and it really topped of our visit to the west coast of Canada. With emotions high and living the dream the boys headed to Nanaimo no stops this time we just listened to some chill indie music and cruised to our final destination. After arriving we had some dinner and had a stroll around the town (not much to see) and we decided that Nanaimo had some crimes that needed to be solved so once more (starting to see a re-ocurring pattern here) we smoked another bowl… afterwords he headed for the corner pub they had a open mic night and it was amazing some wonderful singers and some great instrumentals after a few pints I called it a night and gave the classic cut sign payed my tab and laid my head to rest.

Day 7 – Nanaimo to Home

As with all things in life everything must come to an end and this trip was no exception but before we say goodbye to Vancouver Island we completed one more small hike around Westwood Lake at it was a beautiful hike to end this trip the lake was fully frozen and this was the first time Jim has ever seen a frozen lake and he was fascinated by it, It made me happy as I had the exact same response when I saw a frozen lake for the first time and I could relate to the emotions that he felt. But this soon changed as we started throwing stones on the lake as they made a super cool noise (I’m unable to put the noise into words sorry) we did this for a solid 15 minutes  and I can confirm it was a lot of fun apart from a few funky looks from some bystanders but hey we’re all adults and we can do whatever our hearts desire! as the hike started to conclude there was a brief walk through a wooded area and the light rays where incredible I have never seen the light like this before it was memorising and really made me appreciate the world in which we live after seeing this sight we headed for the ferry back to our homeland.

Now as you may or may not remember we flew across the ocean to Victoria and this trip back was no acceptation so we move briskly towards the smoking deck and we light the magic J and we enjoy every last part of it and once more we where flying back to Squamish and Jim was enveloped in the sunset I have never seen a man take so many photos of the sunset (can confirm it was beautiful and I also took a metric fuck tonne of photos) we spent what felt like an eternity watching the island slowly disappear in the clouds as as we could no longer feel our faces we headed towards the lower decks and did a good 2 loops of the entire ship looking for seating there was none to be found, until that is we found a seat! and we somehow ended up with a deck of cards and attempted to play go-fish now I have played this game a lot but I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to play this godforsaken game and the women at the end of the chairs was in hysterics watching 4 full grown men trying to play  a simple card game I think we really made the trip special to this women! Also the woman sat in front of us was also in hysterics mainly due to Jim looking at his photos of the sunset and being like an excited child it was hilarious to watch and I can imagine it was spectacular to watch from an outside point of view. And how could I forget Dennis loosing his fucking mind I think we broke him, he kept going on that maybe this trip never happened and that we are still on the ferry for Victoria and that we got so high that we never got off the ferry and that the first J started this magic trip and that the second J ended the trip or something along those lines either way it was complicated, mind blowing and dumb as shit well done Dennis for loosing your mind. We then took a steady drive from Horseshoe Bay back to Squamish and shared our tales with the hostel and yes it was good to be home.

And that concludes the boys adventure to Vancouver Island, overall it was an amazing trip and a real eye opener and really made me appreciate the world and changed my metal state fort the better for reasons unknown, I now feel more in touch with my spiritual side and I feel like a more open person and I would now encourage anybody not to doubt anything and be open to the world and spiritual beliefs.


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